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Man and woman have fun in the kitchen - funny sayings short and sweet

Funny sayings short and sweet

Last updated on July 14, 2022 by Roger Kaufman

Sometimes we just need a little humor in our lives. Here are some great funny sayings short and sweet.

A funny saying makes you smile or laugh out loud.

These are some of my favourites.

"I'm too old for this shit!"

“You don't have to be good; It's better to be bad than to be boring."

"If I had to live my life over again, I would be less time spend more time worrying about what other people think and spend more time worrying about how they think of me.”

"It's not about who you know, it's about who knows you."

10 funny sayings in a nutshell

  1. A good friend is someone who knows when to stay silent and when to speak up.
  2. I'm not afraid of tomorrow because I today have friends like you
  3. You don't have to be crazy to live in San Francisco, but it helps.
  4. It's better to be hated for who you are than for what geliebter to become what one is not.
  5. We're all going to die, so why care other worries do?
  6. Don't cry over spilled milk; there's a lot more where that came from.
  7. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
  8. There is no free lunch.
  9. No matter how bad things are looking right now, you will look up later and smile at yourself.
  10. Life isn't always fair, but it's still worth living.

22 short funny quotes

Sea Waves on the Beach and Funny Quote: "Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends." - Henry Louis Mencken
relax sayings funny

"Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends." – Henry Louis Mencken

"The man wears the years in his bones, the woman on her face." - Unknown

“The advantage of being smart is that you can pretend to be stupid. The opposite is more difficult." – Kurt Tucholsky

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” - Mark Twain

"If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito in the room." - Dalai Lama

"Even the obsessed vegetarians don't like to bite the dust." - Joachim Ringelnatz

“Laughing at your mistakes can prolong life. Laughing at the mistakes of others can shorten it.” – Cullen Hightower

A man stuck in a haystack and funny quote: "Humor is one of the best articles of clothing to wear in company." - William Shakespeare
funny sayings to die laughing for free

"Humour is one of the best articles of clothing to wear in company." - William Shakespeare

"I haven't spoken to my partner in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
– Rodney Dangerfield

"I'm walking like I'm fine, but my sock is slipping off the bottom of my shoes." - Unknown

"My mom always said, the older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."
- Rose

"My mom says alligators are evil because they all have teeth and no toothbrush." - Bobby Bouche

Sunglasses bikini and swimming trunks lying on the edge of the pool and funny quote: "Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it." - Unknown
The funny sayings to laugh short

“Common sense is like deodorant. People who need it most never use it.” - Unknown

"You're grown up the day you laugh at yourself for the first time." - Ethel Barrymore

Here are some recommendations: At an interview, say you're willing to give 110 percent. Unless the work is a statistician. – Adam Gropman

"If you want to make sure you never forget your wife's birthday, just forget it once." – Aldo Cammarota

"I thought Europe was one country." – Kelly Pickler

"I have a very simple taste: I'm always satisfied with the best." - Oscar Wilde

"I never really feel more lonely than when I'm trying to put sunscreen on my back." – Jimmy Kimmel

“The elevator to success is out of order. You have to take the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

"I've seen a study that claims that speaking in front of a group is considered the primary fear of the average person. The second was death. This means for the average person that if you have to be at a memorial service, you would rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy.” —Jerry Seinfeld

"There's only one problem harder than making friends: getting rid of them." - Mark Twain

10 funny sayings for WhatsApp

Old man and saying: You're never too old to be silly.
Funny sayings short and sweet - very short sayings

Sometimes we just need a small display.

This funny sayings are perfect when you're feeling down.

  1. You're never too old to be silly.
  2. I'm not afraid to die because I'll be dead.
  3. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
  4. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved.
  5. Don't cry over spilled milk.
  6. Never look back on life; only forward.
  7. There are two things you should never im life should do: sit around and wait or go out and shop.
  8. When you are young you think you will live forever. As you get older, you realize you won't.
  9. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
  10. We don't stop playing because we alt will; we grow old because we stop playing.

16 friendship WhatsApp - funny sayings short and sweet

16 friendship whatsapp – Beautiful sayings to send on WhatsApp.

WhatsApp is an instant messaging app that allows users to send text messages, photos, videos, voice memos, documents, links, contact information, location data, and others types of files can send.

It also offers group chats, allowing multiple people to communicate at the same time. Relationships develop in different ways, but all good friends try to find the same goal: a source of of Love and to be encouragement.

The Sending a message on WhatsApp is simple, but sometimes we forget to send a meaningful message.

Source: Best Sayings and Quotes
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sayings funny new – funny sayings short and sweet

Short funny sayings and jokes

Did you know that a good sense of humor is essential when it comes to social interaction?

A perfectly executed joke, told at the right time and place, can turn an uncomfortable situation into a pleasant one.

  1. It can get you out of a slump, people who lack a sense of humor can't.
  2. It is therefore safe to say that a sense of humor can help you succeed in whatever you do in life.
  3. You have to remember one thing though; If you want to be funny, make sure you're actually funny.
  4. A person with a good sense of humor is also much more likeable.
  5. How can you not like someone who makes you bring laughter can?
  6. People who like to make others laugh are known to be more detail-oriented.
  7. Because to be funny, certain details have to be delivered perfectly.

Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to get a joke right, I thought of helping you out by compiling these short funny quotes and jokes for you.

You can write them down and use them whenever you attend a social event or to share with your friends on the internet.

Have fun!

  • What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
  • What is the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • leave yours best friends never get lonely, keep disturbing her.
  • What is the tallest building in the whole world? The library because it has so many stories.
  • You want to know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again.
  • Yes, I'm sporty, I surf the internet every day.
  • Always follow your heart but remember to bring your brain with you.
  • A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find lucky to have.
  • When the past knocks, don't answer. It doesn't tell you anything new.
  • I can't fall asleep at night. I can't get up in the morning.

  • If we tell people the brain is an app, maybe they'll start using it.
  • I don't need a hairdresser, my pillow gives me a new haircut every morning.
  • What do computers eat for a snack? microchips.
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? have no breasts Eyes.
  • I always carry a knife in my purse just in case we eat cake.
  • If we tell people the brain is an app, maybe they'll start using it.
  • If we're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
  • Of course I'm talking to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
  • My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

  • When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.
  • Don't give up your dreams so easily, sleep longer.
  • Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
  • All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.
  • I don't know how to act my age because I've never been that old before.
  • Yesterday I did nothing and today I finish what I did yesterday.
  • I wonder do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up?
  • The only relationship I have is with my wifi. we have a connection
  • I'm not lazy, I'm just very laid back.
  • The great joy in life is doing what people say you can't do. – Walter Bagehot

  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a few car payments. – Flip Wilson
  • I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like. – Bill Murray
  • If people are talking behind your back, be glad you're in front.
  • I live in a neighborhood so bad you can get shot while being shot. – Chris Rock
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could hit eight people at once.
  • If you're hotter than me, that means I'm cooler than you.
  • Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
  • I have Alzheimer's bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to throw up. – Cindy from Marzahn
  • Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
  • If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the covers back to your side. – Stuart Turner

  • My goal this weekend is to get some exercise, just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
  • People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
  • You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.
  • What am I doing for a living? I breathe in and out.
  • Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking awful?
  • I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.
  • Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?
  • My boss is like a baby, cries and wakes me up every half hour.
  • I didn't trip and fall. Yours truly hit the ground running and I think I'm winning.
  • Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

  • If you fall I will be there to catch you with love. Sincerely the floor.
  • Today I laughed until my abs started to hurt so I can skip the gym.
  • Every day is a gift, so they call it the present.
  • We all have luggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
  • Stop texting me mid text now I need to change my text.
  • Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again?
  • Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing.
  • Life's greatest struggle: I have to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.

  • If you want your kids to listen, try speaking softly to someone else. – Ann Landers
  • I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.
  • Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
  • Females and cats will do as they please, and males and dogs should relax and get used to the thought. – Robert A. Heinlein
  • My wallet is like an onion, when I open it I cry.
  • Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.
  • Silence is golden unless you have children, in which case silence is just suspicious.
  • Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  • My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat.
  • My windows aren't dirty, my dog ​​paints.

  • When you have crazy friends, you have everything you will ever need.
  • I don't run from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
  • If I won the laziness award, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
  • If only common sense were more common.
  • I am not insane. I enjoy every minute of it.
  • Why can't you play cards on a small boat? Because there's always someone sitting on the deck.
  • I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow.
  • We will be best forever Friends be, besides, you already know too much.
  • You know you're lazy when you're upset about canceling your plans.
  • I'm not lazy, I'm in sleep mode.
  • My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot.
  • Lottery: a tax for people who are bad at math.
  • I only love my job when I'm on vacation.
  • Relax, it's the weekend, just don't blink or it'll all be over.
  • I didn't fall, just spending some time on the floor.
  • A ghost is like a parachute. It won't work if it's not open.
  • I know I'm intelligent because I know I don't know anything. – Socrates
  • The only power you have is the word "no". – Frances McDormand
  • I said no to drugs but they just wouldn't listen.
  • I believe we should all pay our tax bills with a smile. Yours truly tried, but they wanted cash.

  • My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
  • Waiting for the movie to start eating your popcorn is the hardest thing in the world.
  • I hate Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and half Friday.
  • Who says nothing is impossible? I haven't done anything for years.
  • I solemnly swear I'm up to no good.
  • Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
  • Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. Yes, that's what a grenade is like.
  • If Montag had a face, I would punch it.
  • Everyone wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. – Albert Konig
  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein

Stress funny sayings work - humorous quotes

You are stressed because you have too much to do.

But what if there was an easy way to relieve stress?

It's not just about being busy; it's also about being productive.

Display

Video training “Intuition – hear and follow your inner voice.”

You doubt if you really hear your inner voice

  • You want more security in your perception
  • You want to strengthen the connection to yourself
  • You want to train your fine intuition

 

When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's hard to focus on anything else. So why not try some funny jokes at work instead?

says the boss

If your boss has ever told you to "just relax," then you know how stressful work can be.

And when you're stressed, it's harder to do your job well. That's why it's so important to find ways to stress at work to dismantle

says the colleague

  • "I'm sorry it took me so long to order."
  • "It didn't take you long at all!"
  • "I was just waiting for my coffee to cool down."
  • "I'll pay you back as soon as I can."
  • "I'm really sorry, but I forgot to bring my checkbook today."
  • "I'm sure we can work something out."
  • "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."
  • "I'm afraid I can't."
  • "I'm very sorry, but I have to go immediately."

Says the intern - funny sayings short and sweet

It's easy to feel stressed when you're trying to meet deadlines or keep up with projects.

But Humour can help you stay focused and relaxed.

Says the manager - funny sayings short and sweet

"I'm going to give you a task today. I want you to come up with 17 stressful and humorous workplace jokes.”

Woman leans against a wall with a quote: "Don't stress, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and also Sunday.” - Unknown
Funny sayings short and crisp - sayings funny short but true

"Don't stress, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and also Sunday.” - Unknown

“What the world really needs is more of Love and a lot less paperwork.” – Pearl Bailey

"This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.” - Unknown

"Some days the most effective thing about the job is that the chair rotates." - Unknown

"My fondest childhood memory is not having to spend 40 hours a week with people who upset me and also make me exhausted to make sure I can afford to buy paper towels and laundry detergent." - Unknown

"Stress and anxiety don't go with my clothes." - Unknown

"Rest is such a luxury I can't afford." – Robin Sikarwar

"If everyday life is a gift, I want to understand where I can return to on Mondays." - John wagner

"No one is ahead of their time unless the person in charge leaves early." - Groucho Max

“There must be no major crisis next week. My schedule is currently full.” - Henry Kissinger

Calendar with quote: "Mondays are the start of the work week that make for new starts 52 times a year." - David Dweck
Funny sayings short and sweet

"Mondays are the beginning of the work week, which means new beginnings 52 times a year." – David Dweck

"Sometimes we can focus so much on absolutely nothing that we make a big something out of absolutely nothing" - Ricky Maye

"As I got older and also wiser, I discovered that there are 6 things I really enjoy about my job. Payday, lunchtime, closing time, vacation time, vacation and natural retirement." - Tom Goins

"The most effective part of being most likely to work is returning home at the end of the day." - Unknown

"If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel." - Unknown

"One of main reasons for your 'no' is that you need your time off so you don't act like an idiot because you're diminished. And you don't want to fight an appetite fueled by fear of overexertion. But this is your key, others do not need this information. So just smile, say no, thank you, and keep moving too.” - Holly Moser

"I always try to give my all at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back." - Unknown

Funny wisdom - 25 funny life wisdom to smile

Source: Best Sayings and Quotes

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Share them with your friends and family so they can put a smile on their faces too.

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